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October 22, 2020, 08:00 PM

Doing Attachment Based Work with Self and in Sessions Part 2: Massaging our Core Fears

A talk by Jim Harlow
Natural Lifemanship, Natural Lifemanship

This session will go over the next steps in working to expose and shift your attachment style (or connection pattern). Each pattern has a different automatic or default set of internal reactions (leading to compensating external actions) when vulnerability or fear of unmet needs is sensed. To shift these insecurities, we need to experience attending to them in new ways that will allow for different, positive outcomes. Cognitively knowing that something is safe is not the same as experiencing safety in that situation. This process involves stepping into the fears in ways that are different from our natural or automatic pattern. For example, when I admit (rather than hide) my needs and can receive positive, responsive care then I can learn safety in the presence of both my own vulnerability and my caregiver’s response.

Objectives: To understand how secure attachment appears and operates in relationships and how to preserve this dynamic. To understand how a lack of trust that others will respond at all can push a person to withdraw, isolate, and seek greater independence as a protection from the pain of rejection. To understand how a lack of trust that others will reliably respond can push a person to seek to manipulate others in order to receive the care that they need in order to protect from feeling abandoned.
To start to grasp the experiential pathways that need to be shifted in order to build new patterns of authentic connection.

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